Today is Tuesday 1st August 2017. Which means it’s another transformation Tuesday on Instagram. I love looking at people’s journey and always take part in this day on my own page @nikkib_journey.
Today’s post has comments and likes from people I have never met. I started the blog, Instagram and YouTube channel to share my story and hopefully inspire others. But I am aware how one sided social media can be. A transformation Tuesday posts do not show the whole story behind that person’s journey.
So with that in mind I wanted to share my morning with you. I am currently sitting in my car on works car park after a 8am PT session. I have been training really hard in sessions recently and can really feel a change in intensity since moving to ‘Phase 2’. Which i am loving and embracing the challenges this is giving me. Today however, we went back to some old classics. Clean and presses, strength combos and other workouts I have been doing for months.
Today something happened in my head that I can’t explain and couldn’t move past. Losing weight and transforming your life is just as much about your mind as it is your body. I love training. I love pushing my body and seeing what it can do. But today my mind wouldn’t let me. I convinced myself I couldn’t and low and behold my body followed suit.
I love that my story inspires others but today I couldn’t inspire myself. I wanted to walk away. I wanted to leave. I’m usually up for anything in a session, but today I just wanted it to be over. I can’t explain how frustrating this was and still is.
I beat myself up all of the time and I am my own worst critic, which can make me my own worst enemy. Once that seed of doubt is planted my whole workout is ruined. Instead of brushing it off and getting on with what I know I can do. I convince myself I am not strong enough, that i am not fit enough, and there’s no way im lifting that. What . . . 10 more reps? No chance. But guess what . . . I did it. Every time. Because I always do. And I know Alan will never ask me to do something he doesn’t think I am capable of. And he thinks I am capable of a lot more than I do.
I know today will not matter in the grand scheme of my journey. And I shouldn’t dwell, but it is so hard not to when I have such fire inside for this whole process.
So that’s my morning. And the truth of my journey. If anyone tells you this journey is a walk in the park, they are lying! Your mind and body will play tricks on you. But I am going to look at my transformation Tuesday post with pride. I am drawing a line under today and holding my head up high. Because I am better than today’s workout. And I will prove that on the next one!